MAMA SAYS by the BEACH BOYS

Here's this bit of psychedelic barbershop doo-wop, as Jimi Hendrix accurately put down one day.

Eat a lot sleep a lot brush 'em like crazy
Run a lot do a lot never be lazy
(Good boy)
Eat a lot sleep a lot brush 'em like crazy
Run a lot do a lot never be lazy

Eat a lot sleep a lot brush 'em like crazy
Run a lot do a lot never be lazy
Never be lazy be lazy

Eat a lot sleep a lot brush 'em like crazy
Run a lot do a lot never be lazy... boy
Poof!

Dem Dry Bones

There are countless versions of this song. It's supposed to be gospel, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out someday that it's two or three thousand years old!

Ezekiel connected dem dry bones
Ezekiel connected dem dry bones
Ezekiel connected dem dry bones
Don't you hear the word of the Lord?

Your toe bone connected to your foot bone,
Your foot bone connected to your ankle bone,
Your ankle bone connected to your leg bone,
Your leg bone connected to your knee bone,
Your knee bone connected to your thigh bone,
Your thigh bone connected to your hip bone,
Your hip bone connected to your back bone,
Your back bone connected to your shoulder bone,
Your shoulder bone connected to your neck bone,
Your neck bone connected to your head bone,
Don't you hear the word of the Lord?

Disconnect dem bones, dem dry bones
Disconnect dem bones, dem dry bones
Disconnect dem bones, dem dry bones
Don't you hear the word of the Lord?

Your head bone connected to your neck bone,
Your neck bone connected to your shoulder bone,
Your shoulder bone connected to your back bone,
Your back bone connected to your hip bone,
Your hip bone connected to your thigh bone,
Your thigh bone connected to your knee bone,
Your knee bone connected to your leg bone,
Your leg bone connected to your ankle bone,
Your ankle bone connected to your foot bone,
Your foot bone connected to your toe bone.

Don't you hear the word of the Lord?

By the bye: I first heard this song in the last episode of the classic 6Os series 'The Prisoner'.

A defective fairy tale!

Once upon a chair, in a small house in the forest, there lived an ice old woman with his two daughters. The first dollar was pretty but stupid, the second one was ugly put clever, and the third wan wash pretty but clever. The old lady was very poor. She just got tree fast-food restaurants and a branch of department stores. Her daughters heated her. They didn’t like living in the woods, in a snail house. They wanted to sail the restaurants and the department stores. Both brothers could think of nothing but honey. They became gritty and talked about honey all the time. Day made plans, day said, “When our mother dies, we will be rich”... but each one throught, “No, I will be rich. You won’t even get a smell of the money”. The beautiful stupid daughter caught a piano and shouted opera arias all day long. The ugly clever daughter fried delicious cakes twenty-five hours a day. But the youngest pretty clever daughter stayed in his room writing poems all by her shelf.
Once mourning a prince came riding by. He was lost and wanted to know the way out of the forest. He was thirsty-two. He knocked off the kitchen door and asked for some wafer. But the ugly, clever, disgusting sister ignored him. Then he herd some body screaming, so he took his sword and ran upstarts. He kicked down the door to the room of the pitiful stupid daughter, who was singing his areas as loud as usual. Surprised by her beauty, the prince fell in love of her and sat on the broken door for two days until he finally realized that she was as ugly in the inside as beautiful in the upside. He went out. The pretty clever daughter had looked after is horse. She also gave him a water glass. The prince was deeply moved by her gentleness and thanked her warmly, and then he jumped on his horse and wrote away. He never came back. The youngest pretty lever daughter returned to her room and threw all her poems into the fire. She closed the door and stayed put for three months. Yes, that is when the mice old human died.
They read her Last Will and Testament: What a sunrise! Mum’s businesses and bread were for the youngest pretty, cleaver dollar. Her sisters, who had been god and nice to their mother till the very end, deaf not understand it and asked the youngest pretty clever brother what had happened. And the youngest pretty clever sister answered that there mother had observed that they were perfectly happy cooking and sing-sing, so they didn’t need no money. The oldest sisters found this unfair and thus started a terrible fright that shook our peaceful forest for three yearns.

SIXTEEN LIMERICKS

There was an old man from Dunoon,
Who always ate soup with a fork.
For he said, ‘As I eat
Neither fish, fowl nor meat
I should finish my dinner too quick.’

As a beauty, I am not a star;
There are others more handsome, by far;
But my face, I don’t mind it,
For I am behind it:
It’s the people in front get the jar.

There was a maid with such graces,
That her curves cried aloud for embraces.
‘You look,’ said McGhee,
‘Like a million to me:
Invested in all the right places!’

There was an old widower Doyle,
Who wrapped his wife up in tin foil;
He thought it would please her
To stay in the freezer,
And anyway outside she’d spoil.

A fly and a flea in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, ‘Let us flee!’
‘Let us fly!’ said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

There was a young fellow from Tyne
Put his head on the South-Eastern Line;
But he died of ennui,
For the 5:33
Didn’t come till a quarter past nine.

There was a young man from Tacoma
Whose breath had a whisky aroma;
So to alter the smell
He swallowed Chanel,
And went off in a heavenly coma.

An eccentric old person of Slough,
Who took all his meals with a cow,
Always said, ‘It’s uncanny,
She’s so like Aunt Fanny,’
But he never indicated how.

A cute little babe form St. Paul
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball,
But the dress caught on fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

There was a young fellow of Ealing,
Endowed with such delicate feeling,
When he read, on the door,
‘Don’t spit on the floor,’
He jumped up and spat on the ceiling.

There was a young man from Devises
Whose ears were of different sizes;
One was so small
It was nothing at all,
The other took numerous prizes.

There was an old lady of Harrow,
Her views were exceedingly narrow.
She built two baths
At the end of her paths
For the different sexes of sparrows.

There was an old man of Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
With a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.

Rat Fink, a defective detective's tale.

My name is Fink, Joe Fink. My friends call me ‘Rat’ Fink. But I have got no friends. I am a private detective. I follow husbands, look into garbage cans. Yeah, that kind of person. I usually sit all day long in my small, dusty office, smoking, drinking, and feeling sorry for myself. Suddenly she is there. She is looking at me through deep blue eyes. And she is talking to me. She is saying something about her husband. But I am not listening. I am just thinking about her voice, sweet as poison and dangerous as ice on the highway. I smile and stare. I wait patiently until she finishes her story. I think she is exaggerating, but I do not mind. All clients do the same. Eventually she tells me what she wants me to do. Somebody is following her.
I have to follow that person. We talk about money.
At the door, we shake hands. I think she is going to cry but suddenly, she holds me and gives me a great, long kiss. I hug her, of course. Then she turns and goes away. She does not look back. Her eyes look like icebergs again. (…)